Where's my purpose?

Time : 8:06 am
Place : Al Ain , UAE
A more precise place : On my bed .
State of mind : %#^@
( Chacha choudhury padha he kabhi tu, jab use gusa ata he to esa hi galiyan bak ta he)

First of all , I am not sad or angry. I have a decent job , a family I love , friends I love, and a security guard I am beginning to love ( Things a lonely existence does to me ) . So it would take a fully loaded nuclear attack and a couple of Himesh Reshammiya's CDs to make me feel sad . On a related note , I just saw the video of "teri yaad na aye" from Himesh on MTV . The guy is crying lakes in the video . I had this urge to actually reach into the screen , wipe his face with a tissue and say "Na munna na , sab theek ho jayega ."

But even though I am not sad , I have a little thought nibbling on me this morning . The more I live , the more I realise two things . First , I still don't have a 'purpose' in my life . And second , now that I have lived some more , I have lesser time to find that purpose .It is like 5 years back I was "Chill yar . I am only 20 . Only Buddha found a purpose in life at that age." But Now I am like "Umm . I am almost 25 . And I think I will find a bigger meaning in life right after a little nap. "

Sure , I have phases of 'being driven' in my life . Like I wake up and say 'Right . Today I will call the Etisalat Customer care people and tell them they should be looting banks in ski masks and not calling themselves a telecom service provider for all the scary things they are doing to my connection'. So little purposes about getting my cell connection up , analysing concrete consumption in different projects , ironing my shirt for the next day and such micro sized things dot my day .But there is nothing which connects all these dots and makes me say " Oh right . Now all the things that seemed stupid and mundane to me make sense".I don't have a purpose which unites all the things I do and drives me and makes me say "Oh yeah , so this is what it was all about". In fact , that's the problem bugging me right now . I don't know what's it all about .Maybe there isn't supposed to be a purpose , a bigger meaning in life . Just live , have fun , eat good chinese food , watch movies , and of course , there is the security guard .

Starting a holi day with such things which would beat a well with their depth is not a great idea . I can almost imagine Lord Buddha sitting up there on a cloud and shaking his head and telling me "Take it easy kid . It's a holi day after all . You know what that means for a working chap ? So gulp some sandwiches and a hot coffee and flip on FTV and everything will make sense ."

Now keep the purpose thing aside and tell me why things like this are happening to me.
A couple of days back , I got a call .
Me : Hello
The other guy : ~ Something in malayalam~
Me : Sorry , wrong number .
( If 1 guy calls me and talks in malayalam , he doesn't know me . Or he really trusts my language picking speed )
The other guy : ~ Some more malayalam ~
Me : Ok . That was interesting . Bye .
( 5 minutes later . The same guy calls up )
T.O.G ( Do I tell you what that stands for ? Get yourself a brain surgeon . It's "The Other Guy" ): ~ Some more malayalam ~
Me : See , yeh wrong number hain . This is a wrong number . Galat . Galat . Wrong . ok ?
T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~ ( Agitated voice . . I really hope he is not a member of LTTE )
Me : Ok . The guy you want to talk is wearing a pink scarf and sitting in a big garden and eating cherries . Please don't call . WRONG NUMBER . GALAT ! GALAT !
But the mallu caller hasn't understood this since then . He has called me some seven times over the last two days . So now our conversation goes like this
T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~
Me : Krissh dekh lee bhai ?
T.O.G : ~Malayalam ~
Me : Zidane to pagal hain .
T.O.G : ~ Malayalam ~
Me : Ha Ha ! Well said .
I don't know why this guy still calls me . He will have to wait till I finish my "Learn malayalam in 30 days " book . It's been almost two months I've been reading it .

All the kids please get up and clap because my breakfast is finally here . And nothing gets in between a hungry pupu and a hot breakfast . So now yours truly will step back into his big bad mallu world . Let's pacify the rats in my tummy now . As for the purpose of life ...umm....pehle kha leta hoon !