Place the nail lightly on the wood. Don’t hold it too hard. It should be held lightly.Vertically.The tip just touching the wood's surface.Now.Now.Bring down the hammer in one graceful swipe , hitting the head of the nail right on.Thuck.The nail slides down the wood , passing through its interiors in one smooth motion till its head stops against the surface.
Dear "bored-with-work" / "bored-without-work" readers,that was it. That was the last nail in the coffee colored teak coffin of my little story with "her". She has found someone better than me. She is with him now, And after all the tears and hurt I gave her , even Osama Bin Laden with all his Bazookas and Rocket Launchers would seem better than me. But Seriously,"he" must be a better guy than me. Am I sad ? I do not know. There is this stupid tree with the breeze of life passing through it. A dove comes along on sits on this tree's branch.The tree wants this dove to stay forever.But it flies off , because it has to. And the tree should be happy. The dove left its branch. But somewhere , this dove is flying , sailing in a cool breeze and happy.
And its all my doing. Trust me . All my doing.
Regrets. I do not believe in them. Memories. They stay forever.But they are just black and white Kodak moments from the past. And Life is to be lived.
Lived. Love is not about finding someone to love oneself.Its about loving someone.Oh my.Love.Pretty confusing word. Infact , love has been confused with 'possession' by these hat wearing bollywood directors who keep shouting 'cut' and 'action' and 'lights' all day.
Advani meets Sonia. Advani whispers "Kehdo na , you are my Sonia".This is the slide where all the trouble starts. We can consider killing the director right at this scene. What Advani wants is to Sonia to remain with himself. Himself.Him.Advani.The central pin.What he wants is not Sonia to be happy.Sonia can remain happy with Manmohan. But nah.Advani wants Sonia. Not Sonia's happiness. Advani doesnt love Sonia.
He loves himself.
Sonia is happy sipping a "two-straws-one-glass" lassi with Manmohan.
So Advani Bhai , let her be happy , if you truly love her.
A mother wont ever do something which will make her child unhappy. Even if she has to undergo hurt. Because for her , There is no "Kehdo na , you are mine".Its just the child's happiness she wants. Just the child. The child. No herself. The mother just wishes a smile on her child's face. For her , she herself does not exist in the picture. Thats love.
Maybe this seems a very practically difficult way to love , but then just when you get practical about love , it ceases to be love.
I feel peaceful. She has hopefully found someone who was meant for her. Who can give her more smiles than the tears I gave to her. And my clock says its past 3 in the morning. I better find my place amongst the empty pepsi cans , dirty shirts , strewn newspapers and compact disks along with some mottu bed bugs on my bed now. Because I have to wake up to a new day tomorrow. To savour a new day of this gift , a bundle of experiences , called life.
Added Later : This post has nothing to do with any living or dead person including me, this is totally fictitious and written in anger of not having a “She” in life.
Sometime I pray to GOD asking "bhagwan girl friend nhi to atleast uski judaii ka gum to dedo"
Kitna diplomatic wish he………………… Samjh mein aya kya?
Added much later : When i wrote "Judaii ka gum" i never expected or meant that it wd be a re-eaten big babool chewing gum which i received attached to an E-mail, & for sure not from GOD.
